100 Ways To Make Miranda Cry
by Syriiak
Summary: Miranda Lotto: We all know her. She's the crybaby, the klutz, the person you can't forget. And here, you get to review your way to make her cry. Because we all know that it's more fun than we want to admit...
1. Chapter 1

**I don't hate Miranda. Really, I don't! She's actually one of my three favorite characters!**

**However... it is soooo easy to make her cry, or to make her say "I'm Sorry!" all the time, or for her to trip and fall everywhere. And I was thinking about that and voila! This story came along.**

**So, how many times can we make Miranda cry? Review your way to make her cry and I'll put it in as a chapter! And, here's a short starter one...!**

**(PS: This is fanfiction. I shouldn't need a disclaimer.)  
**

Miranda was walking down the halls of the Black Order, humming to herself. Today seemed to be a pretty good day, all in all. She hadn't fallen on anybody, spilled anything, tripped, bumped into anyone, or called herself a failure yet today, so of course, it was a good day.

However, having thought that, she knew of course she was jinxed. Her feet suddenly slipped out from under her and she fell with a very large CRASH! onto the floor.

Oh, she was fine, but her pride was more than a bit bruised. She bit her lip, feeling tears start to spring to her eyes.

But that wasn't all...

Along came Kanda, Mugen in hand and disgusted frown on his face. Seems HE wasn't in that great of a mood anyway; the Moyashi had apparently eaten all of the soba and left none for the samurai. So he was storming along with Mugen unsheathed and he was ready to MURDER.

Meanwhile, Miranda was on the ground, attempting (and failing miserably) to get up. She would try get into an upright position and then her legs would slip and then she would be back on the ground, limbs splayed everywhere. Tears were in her eyes, threatening to fall down her cheeks in a fit of self-depreciation.

Kanda stormed forward so quickly that he didn't even see Miranda there on the floor. She looked up right in time to see that giant Mugen headed straight for her, and she collapsed again, only this time on purpose. Kanda, who didn't even see her, ended up falling over the poor girl, and they both ended up in a tangled heap on the floor. Miranda freed herself soon, and looked up into the glaring, stone-cold eyes of the fierce exorcist.

That was enough to send her over the edge.

"I'msosorryI'msosorry! I didn't mean to trip you! Are you okay? I-I-I-I..."

Kanda didn't even have to say a word, though more than a few had sprung into his mind. Lucky for Miranda, he had self-control. However, he gave her a look that could kill a crowd of thousands.

"WAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

**And that's it! Just come up with a way to make Miranda cry/say "I'm sorry/trip/be a klutz some other way, and put it in a review! **

**Have fun, and please be aware that I really don't hate Miranda!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks for reviewing! XD I can tell this is going to be fun :)**

**Note: I don't know the character Daisya Barry very well, so if I make him OOC, I'm really sorry!**

It was a dark and stormy night...

Okay, maybe not so dark at all. And maybe not so stormy, either. It was a slightly cloudy evening, fat raindrops easing their way down Miranda's window. She was scared, nonetheless, thanks to Lavi's incessant scary-story-telling. She had left, halfway through his third one, and had locked herself into her room, staring out at the showers and imagining the worst.

_If you ever see a tall shape_, Lavi had said spookily, _that is hooded and carries a scythe, you better watch out._

_W-who is it? Why? _Miranda had fearfully asked.

_Because... it's the Grim Reaper! Ahahahaha! He comes at night to steal people's souls and torture them to DEATH!_

At that point Miranda had backed away, still listening but not wanting to. And now, here she was, scaring herself with silly stories._  
_

Meanwhile, out in the hall, Daisya Barry was kicking his soccer ball around. He hadn't wanted to listen to Lavi's ramblings, and instead wanted to play ball. THUMP! THUMP! The ball bounced off the wall, creating very loud noises that would have disturbed the sleep of anyone.

Miranda, upon hearing this, freaked out. She was convinced it was a cold-blooded killer or a beheaded ghost roaming the halls of the Order. She jumped up, quivering, and hid in the corner, peeping out from her fingers at the horrendous noise.

_Score!_ The ball hit the doorframe, and Daisya smiled with glee. _Creeee..._ It had opened the door. Ah well. No matter, he would just close it and be on his way. He started forward, attempting to catch the ball before it went in whoever's room.

"Eep!" Miranda, still cowering in the corner, looked with horror as her door slowly creaked open. The silhouette revealed a figure who was in a long black robe, or something similar, the hood on its head threateningly long. Being only a silhouette, Miranda couldn't figure out who the odd person was standing in her doorway and immediately assumed the worst. _Okay_, she thought, _it doesn't have a scythe. But... it looks scary enough. And..._

"Hey, can I have my ball back now?"

"AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" The sound of ANY voice would have made poor Miranda scream right now.

Daisya jumped slightly. "Hey, calm down. What's your problem?" He leaned against the doorframe, a snicker in his voice. "Did I scare you?"

Miranda was making unintelligible noises, and was now in the fetal position on the floor, staring at her hands. "Don't hurt me..."

"...Wha...? I just wanted my ball back." He walked right in, plucked it off the ground, and started for the door again. "I guess I'll just be going now-"

"WAIT!"

He looked up, startled. "Huh?"

"I-I-I mean... " She was still shivering uncontrollably. "I-I-just." She breathed a shaky sigh. "You startled me."

"Aah. I see. You were listening to Lavi again, weren't you?" Daisya looked at her pointedly. Miranda just noticed how creepy that pointed makeup, coupled with the bandages on his head, looked. She nodded silently.

"All right," He grinned (almost wickedly), "If it'll cheer you up, I'll tell you a story that you can tell Lavi. And it'll be sure to keep him away from you from now on." His eyes, shiny as ever, waited for her approval. She nodded again.

"It goes like this," he started. "_It was a dark, and stormy night..._"

Miranda, wailing, bolted out of the room, leaving a bemused Daisya leaning against her doorframe. He chuckled slightly and continued kicking his soccer ball around the halls of the Order.

**Well, there it is! Chapter 2! Ahem... I HOPE I got Daisya right, like I said. I don't know that much about him, so I'm really sorry about any OOC-ness... *hopeful smile***

**Anyway, see you around in Chapter 3!  
**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3! Rah-rah-rah (cheerleader dance)!**

**:3 Hope you enjoy, and review please!**

"Now, remember," the gray-haired, bearded man in front of Miranda said with seriousness, "this message is _important._ I have to rely on you to get it back to Komui. Can I trust you?" He almost glared at her, and she wilted.

"Y-yes," she gulped. "I'll remember, sir."

He lowered his voice dramatically. "All right. I must go now; just remember: "Henry ate the golden egg." Can you remember that?"

" 'Henry a-' !"

"SHHH! You never know who might be listening! Now," He whirled around before she had the chance to ask who would be listening _in _the Black Order. "I must leave now. But remember that message! I am relying only on you for the safety of my country!" And before you could say "Henry ate the golden egg" (whatever that meant) he was gone, the doors to the Order slammed shut.

"Y... your country?" Had she been talking to a _king_? Suddenly it dawned on Miranda the importance of the message. "All right. I've got to go see Komui immediately!" She wasn't really talking to anyone, just herself. But she still had to get the message right.

_Henry ate the golden egg. Henry ate the golden egg._ She sprang forward, running through the halls, to Komui's office... or so she thought.

She knocked softly on the door. "Hello? Supervisor?"

The door opened to reveal a finder. "Wrong room." His tired eyes showed how much sleep he needed. Her eyes went wide.

"Oh, I'm so sorry for disturbing you! I'll leave!" She backed slowly away, and then broke into a run to get to Komui. She was positively certain that his room was on the left... or maybe the right. She suddenly flinched, drawing back to consider her possibilities. Well, the hall only went one way, so she started forward, looking at the doors for any clue.

They were all the same...

_Henry ate the golden egg. Henry ate the golden egg. ...Or was it Harry? Harry ate the golden egg?_ That sounded right...

She stopped at another door, only to be greeted by another finder. Again, she backed away, and again, she started down the hall.

Maybe she wasn't on the right floor. She came to a set of stairs and started upward. But what if she was supposed to go down?

Oh, she was so confused!

Sighing, Miranda went up the stairs, and met a hall full of closed, uninviting doors. "That settles it," she said aloud to herself, "I was supposed to go down." She went back down the stairs and took the other set downward, so she was now on a hallway that had only a few doors on it.

It would have helped it she had remembered what the Science Section halls looked like. But she'd never had much of a memory.

She gasped as a thought occurred to her: She'd never had much of a memory. And this king, or whoever, had entrusted her with highly important news.

"That just means that I'll have to work harder to remember that Harry ate the golden-!" She clapped a hand around her mouth and looked around, terrified. Fortunately, no one was to be seen. "Phew," she sighed.

_Harry ate the golden... Harry ate the golden... _Miranda's eyes went wide. _What had Harry eaten? And was his name even Harry? And why was it golden?"_

Well, if whoever it was ate it, then it had to be a food item. That narrowed it down a little. And if it was golden... then it was... a cake? She had seen yellow cakes that could be golden-ish. Or bread... Well, cake was better than bread. And it had been a king that had told her that, so naturally he had chosen the better option.

_Got it. Harry ate the golden cake. Harry... Larry? Yeah! Larry ate the golden cake._ Now assured that she was correct, she started forward once more.

She knocked on the next door, but there was no answer. She knocked a little harder, still no answer. "Uh, hello? Supervisor?" He may be sleeping in there, so of course there would be no answer... She slowly, very slowly, opened the door just a crack to see if the sleeping man was still there.

Swords. Swords and not much else in the room.

And Kanda, sleeping peacefully on his bed. Miranda gasped audibly, then covered her mouth again. She had accidentally stumbled into Kanda's room! Closing the door quickly, and somehow quietly, she slid down to the floor, trying to slow her quickening heartbeat.

He was still asleep. That was a relief.

He might wake up. That was NOT a relief.

_Larry... Jerry? Jerry/Larry ate the... uh, the cake. That's right, the cake. And, uh, it might be Jerry, because he is the cook. Yeah, the king might have been talking about the cook. ...Cake? I think so, but Jerry's specialty is Mitarashi Dango._

_Jerry made the mitarashi dango. That makes a lot more sense! Surely that's what I'm supposed to tell Komui!_

She straightened back up, and surely knocked on the next door. No answer. "Well, at least it's not Kanda's room..." She again, slooooowly turned the handle, peeked inside the room.

Say! She recognized this room, it was her own! And she definitely knew how to get to Komui's office from her own room! Absolutely certain this time, she headed toward Komui's office.

* * *

It sounded as if someone was sawing logs.

There was Komui, sleeping peacefully on a pillow of books on his desk. One was on top of his beret. Gingerly, she shook him. "Komui? Komui!" She whispered. No such luck; she'd have to do it the hard way... she'd never done this before, but she definitely knew how.

"Uh, Komui?" She leaned down next to his ear, feeling like an idiot. "Ah, Lenalee is... getting married."

He stirred, but didn't really wake up. "And she's not inviting you."

"LENALEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! HOW COULD YOU!" He sprang upward, tired eyes searching for his sister. Not finding her, and instead finding Miranda standing there awkwardly, he straightened. "Ah, Miranda. How can I help you?"

"Jerry made the mitarashi dango!" She rushed loudly.

"Ah, what?" He blinked.

"Jerry... made the mitarashi dango?" Blink. Blink blink. "...And it's delicious?"

"Yes, yes, yes. That's nice. I'll tell him you said so." He moved his beret a little.

"No! That's not what I meant at all!" Tears sprang to her eyes. Had she somehow messed the message up? The one that determined the fate of an entire country?

"What she means," said a sudden voice that belonged to a certain gray-haired man, "is that 'Henry ate the golden egg.' "

Komui's and Miranda's eyes both widened suddenly. How had he come here?

He caught their surprised looks. "Unexpected circumstances," he explained. Komui's eyes widened further. "What do you mean 'Henry ate the golden egg'? But that... that's impossible!"

Miranda melted. Here she was, completely useless. Tears ran freely down her cheeks. She had just almost killed an entire country! She ran out of the room before she could make another horrible mistake...

The gray-haired man handed a sheet of paper to the bewildered Komui. "This explains it," he told the man with the beret.

"But... but... crap," Komui swore. "That means I lose. All my troops are yours now, I guess."

The man smiled triumphantly. "Would you like to play again?"

Komui leaned forward in his chair. "Yes! And this time, my troops are gonna smoke yours!"

"Is that so?"

"Yes! Oh boy are you gonna be sorry you asked!"

Meanwhile, Miranda was weeping in her room.

**Sorry that took so long! XD Komui's random games with people. And poor Miranda!**

**Review please, and hopefully I'll have chapter four up sometime today (if I'm lucky!)  
**


	4. Chapter 4

**GAH! It took so long (SORRY!) but finally, FINALLY, here it is, Chapter 4! (this was a lot of fun to write!)**

"Aaah!" Miranda landed face-first on the floor in front of Lenalee.

"Hi, Biranda." The green-haired girl sniffled, then sneezed into a handkerchief. Her nose and eyes were a bright red, and there were bags under her eyes. Yup, it was definite-Lenalee had a cold.

"Oh, Lenalee," the older woman started, "Are you okay?" She felt somehow unable to help, and this troubled her. Being unable to help _always_ troubled Miranda.

Lenalee sneezed. "Yes, I'b fide. Just a cold." She wiped her nose on a handkerchief, then sneezed again.

"...Oh." She stood there awkwardly, quite unsure of what to do now in this situation. "I... wish I could help," Miranda finally mumbled. "I mean, I can't make your cold go away, but perhaps... I could do... something?"

"Oh yes," Lenalee brightened. "Could you baybe do me a favor?"

"Anything!" Miranda was desperate to help.

"I'b so sick, it would be a bad idea for be to deliber coffee. And you know how Komui gets when he doesn't hab his coffee." That certainly was a frightening thought. Miranda nodded in understanding.

"Don't worry, Lenalee, I'll get them their coffee!" She left without even a thought...

* * *

Now carrying a full tray of also full coffee cups, Miranda walked not-so-confidently into the Science Section. _Why did I do this again...? Because,_ she thought harshly to herself, _I wanted to help Lenalee._ She strode forward, and the coffee cups jangled dangerously.

_Don't fall... Please don't fall... _"Hello?" Balancing the tray on one of her arms (very dangerous, especially for Miranda), she knocked on the door frame with her other hand. It slipped, but Miranda was able to catch it before any damage was done. A droplet of coffee spilled to the floor; Miranda avoided it, barely.

"Anyone home? Science Section? Reever, Komui?" Not a sound. Except maybe a chainsaw... no, that was a snore.

Shoot. Everyone was asleep. Well, that wasn't a big surprise, considering they had been overworked more than usual lately, with the Earl harassing them like he was. She walked into Komui's office and sure enough, he was there in his usual state: asleep.

Well, what was she supposed to do now? "Ah, erm. Komui?" Not wanting to wake him up the usual way, she wasn't quite sure what to do. If she informed him that Lenalee was getting married, he would surely react violently, which would definitely make her fall. She could envision the coffee crashing to the floor, cups shattering...

She took a cautious step backwards. "K-Komui?" She faltered. Maybe she should just leave it on his desk and get out of here... "I have coffee," she pleaded weakly. No response. She sighed, turning away to go deliver the other cups.

"_Coffee..._" The sound was akin to a zombie having a revelation that it, in fact, loved brains. Only it was coffee.

Miranda turned around, to see the Chief, eyes still closed, but hand closed triumphantly around his favorite beverage. _Snooooooooooorre... _He was still asleep.

Quickly as she could, Miranda exited the office, only spilling about three drops of coffee, and started for the rest of the Science Section.

* * *

"Will you please go away?"

At first Miranda had thought that the annoyed comment from Reever was directed at her. Tears sprung to her eyes as she backed away sadly, thinking, _I was just trying to help..._ But then she looked up and saw the giant robot that the perturbed Section Leader was talking to.

Then she lost it.

"W-w-woooooaaaahhh!" She tripped backwards in surprise, fell against a wall, then tripped forwards. Fortunately for her, the coffee stayed mostly intact; it was just a little spilled.

Miranda looked up from the floor in horror at the giant robot that everyone was regarding so disdainfully. Didn't they know that a thing that big could hurt them in so many ways...? Of course, she knew it was just a Komulin, but she had also seen the damage that the other Komulins had caused. She stifled her terror as the thing looked down at her and extended a giant claw/arm her way.

She _tried_ to get up. But with all honestly, it looked more like a weird break-dance-ish thing that could only end in pain. Finally, she was able to get up, and miraculously all the coffee cups were _still_ in one piece, and she made a run for it.

However, in all her movements on the floor, she had completely lost her sense of direction.

First, the tray bumped into the Komulin. This impact jostled the coffee cups so that the liquid was everywhere; hardly any was in the cups at all. And, according to the laws of motion, any object at motion tends to stay at motion-meaning, of course, that Miranda couldn't stop. She crashed face-first into the Komulin, which made the tray slip out of her hands and... you guessed it, all the coffee cups crashed onto the floor.

All but one. The Komulin, with his super-fast claws (thanks to Komui) caught one. Miranda looked up, not quite sure what to think. What was it-?

It drank the coffee. There wasn't much in it, but there was some. Enough to activate its crazy side.

It dropped the cup so it crashed onto the floor like all the others, and its shiny eyes looked at Miranda.

"ENEMY-ROBOT. MUST-DEACTIVATE." It reached a gaping claw towards her, and she backed away in terror, then started fleeing for her life.

Thump! She hadn't gotten three feet, when her face hit the floor. She looked back up at it, and crawled away.

Was... someone helping her up? Her arm was being pulled upwards. But it... kept going. And she was tossed in the air like a cat toy. Miranda screamed in horror as the robot caught her in its grasp. It's bright red eyes focused on her face, probably determining how to kill her. Unable to do anything, Miranda cringed.

She was going to die. Wide-eyed with panic, she opened her mouth to scream.

"KOMULIN, STOP IT!" Komui rushed out of his office, shaking his fist. He was followed by Allen, Lavi, and Lenalee.

"Don't worry Miranda, we'll get you down!" Allen shouted.

"Yeah, but _how_?" Lavi asked.

Lenalee grimaced. "Allow me," she said with disgust for the thing. She activated her Dark Boots and began to kick the living daylights out of the Komulin until finally it fell to the ground in a cloud of dust. Miranda shakily stood up, looked at the mess around her, and tears sprung to her eyes. This had all been her fault.

Amidst the papers scattered everywhere were pieces of coffee cups; covering tables, the floor, and people were coffee spills, and in the dead center of it all, a man in a white beret was kneeling over a heap of smoking metal, crying.

And it was all her fault.

Miranda burst into tears.

**:'( Yet again, sorry for not updating sooner. (Hands out cookies to everyone to make up for it.) Review plz!**


	5. Chapter 5

**I'm sorry! I haven't updated in forever! It was mostly due to a virus and school, but procrastination had a hand in it, too. (dodges various things being hurled at me by angry readers) Seriously, though, I had to rewrite this thing three times. Bear with me, and please review!**

Allen walked into the Order, already hearing the faint sound of snoring emerging from the halls. It was very late; naturally everyone was asleep, so he was as quiet as he could as he walked down the hallway into his room. Looking around, he heard a faint gasp. Jumping himself, he whipped around to find a very bedraggled Miranda pacing the halls.

"Oh, Allen, it's only you," she sighed, obviously relieved. "You startled me, I wasn't expecting anyone to be awake at this time of night..." Her hands were clasped right above her heart. She moved one nervously into her hair. "You've no idea how frightening it is alone at night," she sighed, slumping.

"Oh, I've had my times," he shrugged. "Say... what are you doing awake? It's very late, you know."

"I couldn't sleep. I have insomnia." Of course. He'd forgotten; before she'd said she could sometimes stay up for days without any sleep.

"Oh, I'd forgotten," Allen answered, suppressing a yawn.

Miranda's eyes widened in horror. "Oh, dear! I'm keeping you awake! You should go to bed!"

Allen shook his head. "Oh, no, I'm fine." He enjoyed the company, even if he was tired. He shrugged, which caused Miranda to notice something that (in her eyes) was even more upsetting than his being tired.

"Your coat!" She pointed, then began inspecting the Exorcist's uniform. "Oh, my, it's terrible! I could help fix it!"

"Well, it's-"

"Oh, Allen, I could fix this! Please let me help!" And she looked into his eyes with her deep brown ones, so concernedly that Allen shrugged the coat off and handed it to her. The sleeve was almost completely detached in one place, the hood had a large slit in the middle of it, and there was a huge tear in the back. "Thank you for letting me help, Allen!" Miranda rushed off to her room where her sewing needles and thread were. "Iwon't be too long!"

Allen watched her leave hurriedly, so quickly that she almost fell. But she didn't.

He yawned openly this time. "I'll just be in my room," he said to nobody in particular.

* * *

"Finally, almost finished," she said to herself as she brought the sewing needle once again through the cloth. "OW!"

Dropping the jacket, she peeled another band-aid and put it on her bleeding index finger. Her hands were already coated with these things; it was a miracle she'd actually been able to pierce herself. Then, she picked up the jacket and was finished in another few minutes. She sat back, relieved that the job was done, and took a relieved glance at the window and at the sunlight streaming into her room.

Then it dawned. She'd said to Allen that she wouldn't be too long with his jacket and now it was morning! Oh, she'd failed him! She snatched up the coat, running directly to where she suspected he'd be at 9:00 a.m.: The cafeteria.

Fortunately, Miranda was right; Allen sat at the table alone, eating his normal monstrous proportions of food. "Allen, I've finished your coat!" She yelled, running directly to his side and held out the coat.

His eyes widened in surprise, but he didn't say anything to betray the obvious shock at the state of his coat. "Ah, thank you-"

"Allen!" Johnny suddenly ran to the table, his huge glasses almost slipping off of his face. "Komui needs to see you imm..." he trailed off as he beheld the tattered uniform in Allen's arms. "Uh... what is that?" Miranda could swear she saw his lower lip tremble already.

"Oh, my uniform was damaged in the last mission. Miranda helped sew it up," Allen smiled nicely. Johnny sweatdropped. "Y-Y-you did that?"

"Yes..."

"B-b-b-but~!" He burst into tears at the messy sewing job on his precious jacket. Burying his face in his hands, he tore away, running out the cafeteria.

Miranda's eyes widened in shock and horror, her mouth hanging open slightly. "I... I..." It may not have been the best sewing job in the world, but it held his jacket together, and that's what counted, wasn't it? Feeling crushed, she sank into a seat. "I completely ruined it," she moaned, covering her face with her hands. "I made you wait for nothing. I ruined it." She wasn't crying yet, but she was close.

"Nonsense! It's still..."

"Hey Allen, what's up?" Lavi strode to the table, not seeing the almost-weeping woman at the table beside him. "Dude. What happened to your jacket?"

"Nothing," Allen said with gritted teeth, nudging his head in Miranda's direction for Lavi to get it, mentally telling him to Shut Up.

"Yeah, nothing, wow." Lavi started laughing. "Looks like a three-year-old a hold of it."

Miranda's shoulders started shaking. Lavi still didn't notice, still as dense as ever.

"Seriously, though. Did you let Komui try his new sewing machine thingy on it? Because those are some really messed up-"

Miranda shot out of the chair, out of the cafeteria, a stream of tears flying behind her. "I'M SORRRRYYYYYY!"

"What's her problem?" Lavi asked.

Allen fought the urge to bang his head against the table.


End file.
